The world is a complex and nuanced place. People are different, everyone’s special, blah blah blah, nobody gets to do genocide anymore because of “morals.” But is all this Olympic-sized caveat-construction helping humankind be happier? We at TopatoCo posit that your life will become much easier the instant you realize that, at a fundamental nut-kernel level, there are really only two types of human beings in this world: the kind taken with brain-bending flights of fancy at the prospect of a world in which the Ancient World of the Nephilim pursued a remarkably different evolutionary path and eventually a Triceratops got to be Genghis Khan, and the kind that would wear a shirt that says Poop right on the front of it.

How lucky for everyone, then, that your favorite speculation-engine Dresden Codak has a new shirt about The Trojan Tyrannosaur and that your favorite twitch-magnet Chris Yates has adapted his famous Poop Sign into a proud torso-sheath! As a concession to the fungibility of the human spirit, we are making both commercially available even to the same individual. The choice will rest with you. Am I, you should ask yourself, more excited by the prospect of something that could reasonably be named Stegodysseus, or by the simple and uncomplicated pleasure of a shirt that says Poop right on the front of it? We are not saying that you have to choose; that is up to you and your God and your parole officer and the rules at your group home.

ALSO WE GOT POOP SIGNS FOR BABIES EVEN. The Poop Sign was conceived for this use and potentially no other. This is the sound of the world being satisfied; everyone else can go home now.