Look. We know you got books on your shelves. They are full of paper and that is fine. But today I want to talk about something ELSE. Imagine a book that is massive, and instead of words, it has some sort of colorful image printed on it. Also it has no covers or spine and is only one page. This thing would not fit on your shelf! It would slowly fall over. That is because this thing is a poster. It is a special type of book that we here at TopatoCo may have invented. We don’t know for sure, as we are still waiting for the patent office to respond to our loud and incomprehensible series of inquiries. I hope the mailing address I made up for them is still in service.

What kind of “posters” might exist, in some hypothetical world where they are available for you to love and own and enjoy? Perhaps they might contain information — what if there was a Simplified Interstate Map (Newly Revised Edition) made by Chris Yates, or a Chart of #1 Hit Songs by Genre, 1950-Present made by Dorothy Gambrell? Could this format lend itself to a List Of Essential Information For Time Travelers, or even a Hierarchy of Beards? What bounty of useful knowledge could this format be utilized to convey? Only frenzied, gibbering speculators, gazing wide-eyed at the starry sky above and madly theorizing about what lies beyond the black, impenetrable veil of the future, may know for sure.

And what if this “poster” concept could be applied to making large paper versions of your favorite internet comic strips? Such a thing would seem the height of impossibility! OH NO MY FRIENDS. No, we have pooh-poohed the naysayers and TAKEN THIS TO THE LIMIT. Did you know that we sell Dresden Codak comic prints that are within inches of being as tall as Hollywood celebrity Danny DeVito? THIS IS NOT A THING WE DO LIGHTLY. In fact, we are so serious about this moral imperative to provide the world with goodness that we now offer prints and posters (in various forms) for eleven different internet comic strip titles. That is more than ten more internet comic strip titles than Hollywood celebrity Danny DeVito has Primetime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series. Not to knock Mr. DeVito, but we are sort of leading the pack in this regard.

I know what you are thinking. (The computer monitor works both ways.) “But what,” you are thinking, “shall I do with this large blank wall directly opposite my bed? I have already adorned my workspace with your informational chart reference posters and some other space with many fine comic-strip prints. WHAT ABOUT THE BEDROOM?” I am pleased to say that one Mr. Brandon Bird has handily answered that question with a work entitled “Killing Machine.” Ladies and gentlemen, your worries are over.