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Dont @ Me Shirt

Internets and Computering

$20.50

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You did it again. You stayed up too late messing around on twitter. And now, as you nestle into the sheets, steady as clockwork comes the agitated buzzing of your phone as the conversations you started hours ago demand your attention. Or maybe you made a joke about batman and nine hundred randos have wriggled out of the woodwork to correct you that ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY (how do these people always find you?) ACTUALLY batman only needs an hour of meditation every night, so ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY...but you’re not batman and you need everyone to shut up so you can go to sleep. But how do you get them to shut up? For years, a riddle with no answer.

Until now.

With this shirt you can send the chatterboxes scurrying and get some damn shut-eye like you intended. Tonight could be your best sleep in weeks, all because you bought this shirt. Tweet a picture of yourself wearing it to muzzle the yapping coyotes in your mentions. Show up at their homes and press a single authoritative index finger on the power button of their phone--while wearing the shirt. What’s more, as you walk through your waking life, everyone who sees you will know who rules the roost online. It’s you. Because of, and as demonstrated by, this shirt.