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Welcome To TopatoCo!

  • Comics & Artists
    • A Softer World
    • Kate Beaton
    • Back
    • Christopher Baldwin
    • Beyond the Western Deep
    • Brandon Bird
    • Bird and Moon
    • Buttercup Festival
    • Cat and Girl
    • Chainsawsuit
    • Liz Climo
    • Evan Dahm
    • Diesel Sweeties
    • Dinosaur Comics
    • Dresden Codak
    • explodingdog
    • Jess Fink
    • Girl Genius
    • Go Comics
    • KC Green
    • Gunnerkrigg Court
    • Chris Hastings
    • Tyson Hesse
    • Abby Howard
    • Jeph Jacques
    • Dave Kellett
    • Lucy Knisley
    • Koibeat
    • Michael Kupperman
    • Kate Leth
    • Library Comic
    • Mattie Lubchansky
    • MSPaint Adventures
    • The Nib
    • Nedroid
    • Ryan North
    • Oglaf
    • Octopus Pie
    • Oh Joy Sex Toy!
    • Perry Bible Fellowship
    • The Property of Hate
    • Questionable Content
    • Rae the Doe
    • Jon Rosenberg
    • Jeffrey Rowland
    • Red Wombat
    • Sam and Fuzzy
    • Scary Go Round
    • Subnormality
    • Surviving the World
    • This Modern World
    • Three Panel Soul
    • Three Word Phrase
    • Tiny Kitten Teeth
    • twistCMYK
    • Unshelved
    • Jhonen Vasquez
    • Weregeek
    • Julia Wertz
    • Wondermark
    • Chris Yates
  • Podcasts & Music
    • Alice Isn't Dead
    • Neil Cicierega
    • Conversations with People Who Hate Me
    • Jonathan Coulton
    • The Doubleclicks
    • Hello from the Magic Taven
    • Last Podcast on the Left
    • Lore
    • Maximum Fun
    • MC Frontalot
    • Erin McKeown
    • Mission to Zyxx
    • Orbiting Human Circus
    • Savage Lovecast
    • Secretly Incredibly Fascinating
    • The Story Must Be Told
    • Welcome to Night Vale
    • Within the Wires
  • More
    • Writers
      • Clare, Cassandra
      • Cohen Is a Ghost
      • Hodgman, John
      • Daniel Kibblesmith
      • New Leaf Literary
    • Games
      • Kingdom of Loathing
      • Koibeat
      • Machine of Death
      • Nerdcore Medical
      • Quinn, Zoë
      • Smallbu
    • Video
      • Dr. Glaucomflecken
  • Themes
    • Books, Literature, and Reading
    • Death, Disaster, Paranoia, and Ennui
    • History & Historical Figures
    • Critters
    • The Human Condition
    • In-World
    • Internets and Computering
    • OMG KITTIES! And Other Cute Things.
    • Food, Drinking & Eating
    • Impermanence
    • Games and Gaming
    • Science and Medicine
    • Cephalopods and Dinosaurs
    • All of the Shirts
    • Love, Friendship and Makeouts
    • Politics, Religion, and Economics
    • Popular Culture
    • Robots
    • Stuff in Foreign Languages
    • These Have Swears
    • Icons, Charts & Logos
    • Shirts That Know They're Shirts
  • Things
    • Accessories
    • Aprons
    • Art Prints & Posters
    • Baby Stuff
    • Bags
    • Books
    • Cards
    • Drinkware
    • Other Apparel
    • Pins & Patches
    • Plushes & Toys
    • Shirts & Hoodies
    • Stickers & Magnets
    • 🎁 Gift Certificates 🎁
    • ❔ Mysteries ❔
    • All The Things
    • CLEARANCE BARN

Your Virtual Cart

Ask Me About My Conspiracy Theories Shirt

Ask Me About My Conspiracy Theories Shirt

Ask Me About My Conspiracy Theories Shirt

$23.00

This option is in production. Order now and allow up to 3 weeks for shipping.
FINE, don't ask me, but let me tell you about them anyway.

Printed on:

  • Mens/Unisex Shirts: American Apparel Fine Jersey Mens/Unisex 2001 (or Royal Apparel 5051). 3XL and 4XL may be substituted with Gildan Ultra Cotton or Hanes Beefy-T in closest color match.
  • Ladies Shirts: Gildan Softstyle (64000L) 4.5 oz. 100% cotton preshrunk jersey knit or Bella Fine Jersey Womens Tees (6004). Be sure to check the size charts!

Apparel Size Charts

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Please refer to these charts before ordering if you are not familiar with the brand of shirt it is printed on! The style of shirt should be identified in the description. Ladies shirt sizes can be especially zany, as many ladies have no doubt noticed in stores. The Human Bird and Paperklip even made an incredibly charming video about those. 

One thing to keep in mind American Apparel, Royal Apparel, and Alternative Apparel all run about a size smaller than their Gildan/Hanes counterparts. Ladies 2XLs are pretty small, and if you were to be in the market for a Ladies 3XL, the size basically picks back up at Unisex Large. The cut is slightly different but the message is the same: you are cooler than everyone else.

Shipping Info

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Some Basic Information

Packages—if all items are in stock—usually leave our Western Massachusetts warehouse within 1 - 4 business days. However, if one of your items is currently on Short Delay/Reprinting that means it is currently in production, it may take up to three weeks to ship, but usually much quicker. If you need something for a specific time/event, or would like to split your order, please submit a Support Ticket and we'll see what we can do.

We also don't require delivery signatures unless you specifically request it.


If You Are in the US

We currently ship things a couple of different ways.

  • USPS First Class: for packages that weigh 14oz or less. Average ship time 2 - 4 days with delivery confirmation.
  • USPS Priority Mail: for most packages. Average ship time 1 - 3 days with delivery confirmation. 
  • USPS Express Mail: for packages that need to get to their destination quickly. Average arrival time is 1 - 3 days and items ordered with Express Mail are automatically prioritized.
  • UPS & FedEx: for packages that come in brown trucks or white trucks. Click here for Fedex standards and here for UPS standards, See the map below for average ground shipping times.  UPS/Fedex orders are automatically prioritized.
  •  

    If You Are... Elsewhere

    We ship things internationally using DHL eCommerce!

    Packages ship in 1-4 business days if not indicated Short Delay. You will be responsible for import taxes, customs, VAT, and other country-specific fees upon receipt of your package.

    We offer DHL Parcel eCommerce shipping options for if you're in a low to medium rush, and USPS Priority Express international for when you need something ASAP and money is of no concern to you. They're priced according to speed and tracking accuracy.

    • DHL First Class: 220 Countries, Final Delivery scan to most countries, 3-21 days.
    • DHL Priority: 220 Countries, Much Better Tracking*, 14 average transit days.
    • USPS Priority Mail Express International: 3-5 average transit days is what they advertise!

    Please note that we cannot mark packages as "Gifts" to help you evade customs, as that's international mail fraud and they'll throw us in jail which is pointless in a way since no jail can hold us. It is however very inconvenient.

    Still have a question about shipping? We have a whole bunch of FAQs about specific things that you should go check out.

    *A final delivery scan is not guaranteed to all countries using DHL however, there will be a high percentage of delivery scans to 35 key countries including North America: Canada, Mexico Western Europe: Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, United Kingdom Eastern Europe: Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Estonia, Hungary, Latvia, Lithuania, Malta, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia Other Earth Places Japan, South Korea, China, Australia & New Zealand

    You may also like

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